Goodbye, 2018!

It’s hard to be positive when looking back over a year as hard as 2018 has been for me. The trials are what stick out the most: a devastating change of position from the ICU to a very stressful medical-surgical telemetry unit, a hernia and its surgical repair, turning fifty and feeling its wear, a major back surgery with all its painful recovery, and a miniature mid-life crisis mixed in for good measure. I am happy to see this year end. Reframing those hardships helps to see what I have overcome. Although my surgical recovery is still in progress, I am back at work and more confident than ever. I feel more like a grown-up and ready to be responsible for my thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and their effect on those around me. What’s more, I am learning to accept my new normal: that, while I may not be able to do the things I expected to do, there are still things I can, and God will empower me to know what those things are and to do them. 

Do what you’re afraid of and courage will meet you there.

For this New Year, I pray what I pray for every day, for myself and anyone reading this: that God will give me and you the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Remember, we accomplish nothing by paralyzing ourselves in our fear. Do what you’re afraid of and courage will meet you there. I’m proof. I was terrified every step of the way: of going back to school, of taking every test, of applying for the Nursing Program and later for a job, of tackling that job once I got it. Still, God gave me just enough strength to meet each demand. Until here I am, slightly broken, and perpetually imperfect, ready to do the next thing, one day at a time. Happy New Year and happy new day, over and over again!