Author Archives: Cindy

ElephantThe heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

We are counting on this and we rest with confidence in its truth!

We leave in two days.  The flight has long since been booked.  The passports are in hand.  Immunizations are up to date.  We are ready to go!

I sent an email to my co-workers yesterday asking that they cover this trip in prayer for safety and revelation.  I stated that we knew that the Lord may not reveal specifics during this trip but that we are confident of Him and rest in His timing.  My friend, who has been a missionary to Uganda, sent back a reply to that email.  She encouraged me to journal for the entire trip.  She said that she believed that we would indeed receive direction and answers but that they can be very easy to overlook.  She believes that many things will be revealed, that could be overlooked at the time, as I look back over my journal with the blessing of hind-sight.  Sounds like the wisdom of experience to me.

Many months ago my Mom gave me a journal, so I think that I will put it to use on this our first trip of what we hope is many.  I will record the random thoughts and ideas that pop into my head and seem to have no rhyme, reason or purpose.  I will record those thoughts and revelations that do make sense. I will record those mundane thoughts too; all with the intent of not only chronicling my journey but to be able to look back over it and receive fresh new revelation.

When we return home, I will have the opportunity to pour over my journal and to glean new insight. Some of these thoughts I will share with you. Some I will keep to myself, close to my heart.  Some will be for Todd’s ears only.  All will be a result of our gracious heavenly Father’s tender loving care and guidance.

Until next time,

Cindy

Many years ago in my early Christian walk, while still a single woman, the Lord gave me Isaiah 54. During those lonely years I clung to verse 5 - For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name.  I knew that He knew my desire to marry.  To have children and raise a family with a Godly husband but it sure did seem to be taking quite awhile.  So then I reached the point that I surrendered my singleness to Him.  I am always honest with the Lord. I told Him that it was not my desire to be single but that I would rather be single and happy than married and miserable.  Don't get me wrong.  I was not wallowing in self-pity or crying myself to sleep every night.  I had my own sweet little apartment just a block off the ocean.  I had a good job, steady paycheck and a nice little nest egg set aside.  I went on cruises with my friends, went to parties and gatherings. I was not what you would call a social butterfly but I was happy with my life. I was leaving it up to the Lord to send the right man my way.

Then at 37 years of age the Lord gave me a burning desire to study healing, so I did. I read scripture, listened to tapes, read books and immersed myself in the study.  Many weeks later I was diagnosed with intraductal carcinoma in situ. Breast cancer. Clearly the Lord had prepared me. My cancer was caught at the very early stages (due to regular mammograms since age 25, again, thank you Lord). I was prayed up and ready to do battle.  I chose to have a lumpectomy rather than a double mastectomy, as 2 out of 3 of my doctors recommended.  That recommendation was easily understandable as breast cancer is prevalent in my mother's side of the family.  However, the biggest deciding factor in my heart regarding what surgery to have, was my faith and my desire to breast feed my children (that I still hoped to have).  Some may think that the idea of having children at 37 is well ... not wise.  I still wanted them.  I had two surgeries, radiation for 6 weeks and began my tamoxifen regiment. That drug would be taken for 5 years. I hadn't known about that and pregnancy is not an option while taking that drug. So I figured children were not an option for me. Life goes on.

And still Isaiah said:

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
break forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
and your offspring will possess the nations
and will people the desolate cities.

O.K. Lord.  I am and will be your servant. I know you gave me this verse. Is it time yet?  Apparently not for another couple of years.  39th birthday arrives. Still happy and have a good life but... sigh.  At a small group Bible study we were closing with prayer and one of the group leaders received a word for me.  She looked at me and said "six weeks."  Well let me tell you, when the Lord gives you a word, get ready!

Matthew10-8

Enter godly man (at church no less).  We dated for 5 weeks, were engaged for 5 months and have been married now for 17 years.  But what about the children I wanted?  I married them too. I have a beautiful daughter and a handsome son. Both are believers.  (Small sidebar. When hubby and I got married both children were the ages that my biological children would have been had I had children when I wanted to). The Lord is good all the time.

Now my children are busy with their lives and careers and finding their way and neither one is in the mission field. So what does all this have to do with Uganda and Isaiah 54?  And how are my children to "spread to the nations" and "people the desolate cities?"  The answer that came to me is so simple.  It is something that I made sure my children understood - "There is no such thing as step love."  They are my children.  I love them. That is the same love that I will take to Uganda for the children that I will be blessed with there.  That is the love that our Father has for us, His children.  Those whom He has grafted into the vine by the blood of His dear Son.  Thank you Father.

Until next time, Cindy.

 

thanksgiving4Proverbs 21:3 says "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord." ESV

I was thinking about that verse with our future in Uganda in mind.  It seems that the initial excitement has waned and the check and double-check lists are well established. While the first trip is still pending and we are looking forward to that, it seems that thoughts of the long-term are on my mind.  I've asked the Lord what my specific purpose will be.

Obviously we will be there to share the love of Jesus. That is a given.

But what will I do? Will I work in a school? Will I assist in running an orphanage? Will I travel about with my husband assisting him as he serves the medical needs of the communities? Will we join an existing ministry or start one of our own? Where will the Lord direct me specifically? How will the Lord prepare me for the days of battle?  There are so many questions and I don't have any answers; but I do have faith. I know that our Lord will direct me.  I know that He will prepare me for His victory. That is exciting!

Until next time.  Cindy

This is Cindy. My wonderful hubby has encouraged me to begin blogging to share my thoughts and feelings so here goes...

There are a few things that I can say will always be true of my blogging - it will be very inconsistent, the topics will be random and for you grammar experts... well don't get your hopes up.

As you may know from reading my bio (written by said wonderful hubby), I am a Christian, an administrative assistant (the politically correct terminology for secretary but that's a whole other subject!), a cancer survivor, the step-mother of two adult children, I enjoy sewing and gardening.  He truly makes me sound like a super-woman which makes me strive all the more to be so.

Todd and I married in 1997 and I became an instant mother.  Marriage and motherhood have been the most difficult and rewarding experience of my life.  I have learned so much about myself that the Heavenly Father knew that I needed to prepare me for His plan.

NestOne example of His training is the gentle and loving way that He changed my heart about my desire to hold on to my "nest stuff." Many years ago hubby and I were discussing what we would miss most if we went on the mission field (long before any revelation of Uganda!). My response was that I would miss my home and stuff.  All of the things that I have wanted to own for a while and finally acquired.  The favorite kitchen ware, that comfy sofa, the pretty dishes that we got for our wedding, and on and on. Now?  Well, now those things are simply things.  I couldn't tell you when my heart changed, it just did.  Don't get me wrong. I still like my pretty dishes and comfy sofa.  I just don't love them.  I could walk away from them without regret.  Hmm.  Does it sound like I am being called to missions or what? Psalm 37:4 tells us to "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (ESV)  It's true.  Sometimes He does gives us things.  Sometimes He changes our hearts to other desires.  God is good all the time.

Until next time, Cindy